Funny, you don’t look sick.

[This post was contributed by Holly McCarthy who writes about the certified nursing assistant programs. She welcomes your feedback at HollyMcCarthy12 at gmail.com]

For those of us with chronic health conditions, the assumptions from those who look at us and see us as healthy can be very frustrating. It is difficult to make people understand something they cannot. You can’t explain what chronic illness is like anymore than you can explain colors to someone who is blind or music to someone who is deaf.

If you are reading this and you do not suffer from chronic illness, you may find these analogies a bit melodramatic. They’re not. When you have a chronic illness you must adjust the way you live and how you approach life. It makes you stronger than you ever imagined possible but it can be very isolating as well.

So, how do you deal with those people who don’t believe you're “sick?”

1. Explain to them what is wrong with you and how it affects your life.
2. Answer their questions without being defensive or sharp.
3. Ask them for help if you need it.
4. Do not mask your pain all the time. If you say you are okay, people will assume this is always the case. Don't whine but be honest.
5. Try to be patient. Most people have no idea what you are going through and never will.

I have often wondered if it might be easier to actually look like someone with a disability. Would people be more considerate and compassionate? There is no way to tell but I have often assumed as much. The overly solicitous responses people get when they are in a wheelchair or use a walker are very different from the incredulous looks I get when I need to stop and rest or can't stay somewhere that makes me physically uncomfortable.

It’s fascinating to me that I often feel like the same self-conscious teenage girl who used to hide her condition from everyone and never let anyone in on my “secret.” We learn early to mask our true feelings and sadness about the things we can not control. But as I mentioned before, our experiences make us stronger than we ever imagined. We know how to get things done regardless of the boundaries before us and that is not a bad quality to possess.